Bad Day Turned Good

Decided to head to Alabang Town Center. Can't stay at home anyway. I feel so suffocated. Who can work when he's up? Besides, I have to get the Wi-Fi phone.

I hate that I'm so uptight regarding fiscal matters. I can't help it. Come on, let's face it, I'm not that stable. Sure, Baby Couture is there. I'm so grateful for it. Had it not been for that publication, I would always be up on my toes.

So I would like to thank my sister and Jeff for dropping me off. She even played Daniel Powter's Bad Day for me. How apt! She loves Justin Timberlake's Sexy Back. She also downloaded Christina Aguilera's Ain't No Other Man and Evanescence's Wake Me Up When You're Sober.

Headed to Bench Fix Salon and have my nails done. Sadly, there was no one available to do it. Bought Marlboro Menthol and lighter. Can't help it. I just had to let it out. Starbucks was full so I stayed at Seattle's.

That was when the pictures I was expecting came: in the form of text messaging.

He may be a ghost from the past but a part of me would rather have that ghost in the past in my life. He's still his sweet, charming self. I guess he knew something was bothering me because that was his first text, What's the problem?

Just like in Subtext. You're looking for that one person interested enough to tell you how your day went - no matter how shitty it is. Told him about that darn hosting call back. Is it also a coincidence that he had a gig, only difference is that he was informed it would be canceled?

Back to our gigs: I'm performing, he's also perfoming. I'm hosting and acting while he's playing bass, rarely singing. I'm doing it full time, he's doing it sideline.

Then we talked about his nephew, Yurie. Gosh, he's already 4 years old. Time flew by so fast. I wonder what he looks like now.

Some thing never change. He takes a shower for 15 minutes. Same time as me, but it's the getting ready that takes forever for us girls.

Better stop now with this rambling and rambling. Rather, wallowing, as how Lesley puts it. Which brings me to her.

I can never say she's a ghost. Let's just say that for some reason we drifted apart. Well, I stopped acting for some time. But when I returned to the craft, a bond was formed again. This time, it's stronger than the one we had before.

She tells me that I can always tell her these things and she will always listen. I do not want to treat people as sounding boards, that's why I started blogging in the first place. But I guess that's what friendship is all about. For you to be the ears. For you to not judge, because who are you to judge in the first place?

Nonetheless, anything that goes over the limit can break the camel's back. You play, you pay. I sure did.

This year alone, I learned:
- To not ramble on and on and hurt someone. Yes, you may mean it at that time, but surely you do not mean it.
- To not take for granted the things people do for you. Ask nicely but that is if they welcome it.
- To give straight answers. To not mediate or muddle. The minute you feel you are already in the middle, get out.

They say these experiences teach you. I agree big time.

In The Blue Room, there is a line there that goes, "Relationships are constant. You're either growing closer together or drifting further apart." Fact of life.

I'm also grateful Sheryl's still here. Though we may not share the same views on some stuff, our differences cancel each other out. They say it's chemistry really, and I will not spend my time wondering what fuck up I would do for it to end. Just go with the flow. Surely, I know this is forever.

Then there's Samantha. I just met her but again, instant chemistry. She tells me to indulge myslelf in acting because I'm still young. I wonder what is the exact definition of Young. Maybe that's why they came up with the title The Young and the Restless because once you're old you can never really pursue what you want because you're tied down with responsibilities.

Before leaving the house today, Lifestyle was airing a special on Jennifer Aniston. A bit of a seque: Ate was so cute, she commented, "Siguro may AIDS na si Angelina!. She's a true blue Team Aniston.

Back to my main point, I guess when I get there, I too would end up serving tables. I remember Martin telling me that acting is in my blood. It is. It flows through me and I just can't not do it.

Hard yes. Days like these suck and I turn to people to cheer me up. I resort to movies sometimes. See? Even when I'm down, it's always the craft luring me back in.

At Festival Mall, I ran into Frances. It was nice walking with her even for a bit, hand-in-hand.

Now, I'm waiting for Maru. It took her a long time to get here. She asks me, "Galit ka ba?". "No. Okay lang. You're coming.".

No man is an island.